Sorry its been a few days, I have two very sick little boys, and barely get 2 seconds to go toilet at the moment.
Lochlan has this funny reaction to singing. Sometimes he likes it, other times he reacts funny (like at his birthday party). You start singing, and he yells at the top of his voice
"STOP SINGING RIGHT NOW!"
Which can be amusing at times. Other times it can be frustrating, I like singing, and tend to sing while I'm doing things.
We passed a sign the other day which advertised Carols by Candlelight. I loved going to this as a kid, to me, singing carols is one of the best parts of Christmas, and I have quite a few favourite carols, Silver Bells, The First Noel, Snoopys Christmas (I have a deal with Richard with that one, I get to play it loudly, and sing along to it ONCE at Christmas time, then that is it. If we're out and hear it, too bad LOL - he can't STAND it).
I mentioned to Richard that I would love to go to Carols by Candlelight, and take the boys, but I said I would be concerned that Lochlan would stand up and do his 'stop singing' routine.
Richards reply?
"That's it, we're going."
Gee ta.
Wednesday 14 December 2011
Sunday 11 December 2011
Wouldn't want to be old now would you?
Afternoon snack time at our house. Richard pulls out a 'squeezy', which are Fruit Hits, basically pureed fruit in a squeezy foil bag thing. Hence the name.
Lochlan loves these, and he can have them occasionally because the carbohydrates can be accounted for easily enough.
Richard hands it to Lochlan, says 'chug that back boy'. To which I tell him off, to the tune of him going 'scull, scull, scull, scull' to Lochlan. He gets told off by me, again.
To which he replies:
"If we do it enough now, by the time he's 21 and his mate says it to him, he'll just turn around and say 'eeewww, my dad says that'."
I like the logic, just don't think that it's going to work that way.
Lochlan loves these, and he can have them occasionally because the carbohydrates can be accounted for easily enough.
Richard hands it to Lochlan, says 'chug that back boy'. To which I tell him off, to the tune of him going 'scull, scull, scull, scull' to Lochlan. He gets told off by me, again.
To which he replies:
"If we do it enough now, by the time he's 21 and his mate says it to him, he'll just turn around and say 'eeewww, my dad says that'."
I like the logic, just don't think that it's going to work that way.
Saturday 10 December 2011
Genetics.
Connor was asleep today, and when he woke up, he was playing and laughing in his cot. Richard and I went in there, and we were watching him for a little while, when he leans over his giraffe, then looks like he's humping the damn thing. He then throws up on it, giggles, and growls.
Richards comment:
"That's my boy! Drink too much, hump it, throw up on it, laugh at it, then tell it off, and sit there and expect someone else to clean you up."
Oh goodie. Anyone want a child in a few years time... if his teenage years are going to be like that...
Richards comment:
"That's my boy! Drink too much, hump it, throw up on it, laugh at it, then tell it off, and sit there and expect someone else to clean you up."
Oh goodie. Anyone want a child in a few years time... if his teenage years are going to be like that...
Wednesday 7 December 2011
It's official. My husband is going to hell.
He was looking at some photos on Facebook the other night. To protect him from groups of angry mobs with flaming torches and pitchforks, I wont disclose who has the photos he was looking at, or the situation they were taken in.
Anyway, so he's flicking through the photos, and comes across this one of a woman who has one of 'those faces'. You know the ones I mean, the photo was taken at just the wrong moment.
In between bouts of laughter, Richard gets this ripper of a comment out:
"She looks like an animal with lots of small sharp teeth has just clamped itself onto her clitoris with a force of 4000 psi."
I laughed so hard, I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell too.
Anyway, so he's flicking through the photos, and comes across this one of a woman who has one of 'those faces'. You know the ones I mean, the photo was taken at just the wrong moment.
In between bouts of laughter, Richard gets this ripper of a comment out:
"She looks like an animal with lots of small sharp teeth has just clamped itself onto her clitoris with a force of 4000 psi."
I laughed so hard, I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell too.
Monday 5 December 2011
Can I have your IRD number please?
I made dessert tonight.
Well, actually, I made it last night, and we had leftover dessert tonight.
This is a rare occurrence in our house because of Lochlans diabetes, but once in a while it doesn't hurt. I made self-saucing chocolate pudding (recipe below), and we had some french vanilla ice cream to go with it too.
Due to it being very high in carbohydrates, Lochlan only gets a little bit of each. Last night he ate it so fast you'd think it was his last meal. Tonight, he destroyed it even faster.
After finishing his, tipping the bowl up to get the melted ice cream, and then proceeding to lick the bowl (after which we had a discussion about how that is ok when we're at home, but don't do it while we're out), he looked at Richards, and says 'more please'.
So Richard gave Oliver Twist a little more of the chocolate pudding from his bowl.
Lochlan finishes that, and says, 'and some ice cream too!'
Richards reply - "You're going to work for the IRD when you're older aren't you?"
SELF-SAUCING CHOCOLATE PUDDING
I got this recipe off a friend years ago, and it never fails. Just be aware that depending on what you cook it in, you may need to cook it for a bit longer, but make sure it is a deep dish, because it rises and can bubble and boil over easily.
Ingredients:
Cake:
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbsp cocoa
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla essence
1/2 cup milk
4 Tbsp melted butter
Sauce:
1 & 1/2 cups hot water
2 tsp brown sugar
2 tsp cocoa
Method:
Preheat oven to 180 degrees C.
Mix all the cake ingredients together in a deep dish, making sure it is well mixed.
Mix together the sauce ingredients, and pour over the top of the cake mixture.
Bake for 30 minutes, or until cake mixture is cooked through.
Great with ice cream, custard, or fresh berries on the side.
Well, actually, I made it last night, and we had leftover dessert tonight.
This is a rare occurrence in our house because of Lochlans diabetes, but once in a while it doesn't hurt. I made self-saucing chocolate pudding (recipe below), and we had some french vanilla ice cream to go with it too.
Due to it being very high in carbohydrates, Lochlan only gets a little bit of each. Last night he ate it so fast you'd think it was his last meal. Tonight, he destroyed it even faster.
After finishing his, tipping the bowl up to get the melted ice cream, and then proceeding to lick the bowl (after which we had a discussion about how that is ok when we're at home, but don't do it while we're out), he looked at Richards, and says 'more please'.
So Richard gave Oliver Twist a little more of the chocolate pudding from his bowl.
Lochlan finishes that, and says, 'and some ice cream too!'
Richards reply - "You're going to work for the IRD when you're older aren't you?"
SELF-SAUCING CHOCOLATE PUDDING
I got this recipe off a friend years ago, and it never fails. Just be aware that depending on what you cook it in, you may need to cook it for a bit longer, but make sure it is a deep dish, because it rises and can bubble and boil over easily.
Ingredients:
Cake:
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbsp cocoa
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla essence
1/2 cup milk
4 Tbsp melted butter
Sauce:
1 & 1/2 cups hot water
2 tsp brown sugar
2 tsp cocoa
Method:
Preheat oven to 180 degrees C.
Mix all the cake ingredients together in a deep dish, making sure it is well mixed.
Mix together the sauce ingredients, and pour over the top of the cake mixture.
Bake for 30 minutes, or until cake mixture is cooked through.
Great with ice cream, custard, or fresh berries on the side.
Sunday 4 December 2011
Someone is rather sick at the moment.
So. I have a sick husband at the moment. Not the dreaded 'man flu', but when he gets sick, he gets sick.
Poor bugger.
While he's sick, he doesn't come out with many interesting comments, just mainly 'cough cough', 'bleugh', 'ugh', and 'meh'.
So I thought I'd post up one he said last week.
I was ironing one of his shirts for something he had to go to, and was out in the garage, because its the safest place to iron with two small children running around.
Now, this iron is old. Like, older than me old. As in it was my grandfathers old. Its a wonderful heavy iron (I got a new one, and promptly swapped it with my mother so I could have this one).
It has had insulation tape wrapped around the cord for as long as I can remember, and the tape gets changed when it starts to peel off.
So I was ironing his shirt, just up to the last bit (folding the collar down and ironing that flat), when I picked it up.
It went BANG! and promptly caught on fire.
"F**K! RICHARD! FIRE!" Was what came out of my mouth. Just after I finished saying that, the RCD tripped, and cut the power, so the fire went out.
However, it was on fire long enough that I seriously considered throwing it through the window, just to get it outside, and away from the boys.
The remains:
We were talking about it later that night, and I said I was still shaking a bit from it.
"Yeah, you seem a bit fazed by it."
He then thought about that comment for 10 seconds, giggled, and said 'no pun intended'.
*sigh*
Poor bugger.
While he's sick, he doesn't come out with many interesting comments, just mainly 'cough cough', 'bleugh', 'ugh', and 'meh'.
So I thought I'd post up one he said last week.
I was ironing one of his shirts for something he had to go to, and was out in the garage, because its the safest place to iron with two small children running around.
Now, this iron is old. Like, older than me old. As in it was my grandfathers old. Its a wonderful heavy iron (I got a new one, and promptly swapped it with my mother so I could have this one).
It has had insulation tape wrapped around the cord for as long as I can remember, and the tape gets changed when it starts to peel off.
So I was ironing his shirt, just up to the last bit (folding the collar down and ironing that flat), when I picked it up.
It went BANG! and promptly caught on fire.
"F**K! RICHARD! FIRE!" Was what came out of my mouth. Just after I finished saying that, the RCD tripped, and cut the power, so the fire went out.
However, it was on fire long enough that I seriously considered throwing it through the window, just to get it outside, and away from the boys.
The remains:
We were talking about it later that night, and I said I was still shaking a bit from it.
"Yeah, you seem a bit fazed by it."
He then thought about that comment for 10 seconds, giggled, and said 'no pun intended'.
*sigh*
Friday 2 December 2011
Three little things...
Just a couple of little ones that were heard today.
Richards daughter Kelly is here at the moment, just come down for a quick visit til tomorrow. She's sitting on the floor, playing with the two boys, and they've got my measuring cups and spoons.
Richard looks over. "Ahhh. Two boys, one cup huh?"
Earlier in the day, Lochlan was playing down the hallway, doing something that he shouldn't, and I hear Richard call him and say "Come here maraca head."
Huh?
So I ask him what he means by that.
"If he keeps doing that, I'll shake him til he rattles."
O_o
(No, he wouldn't, just for all those about to go running for the phone to call CYFS)
Then at dinner, we're sitting there talking about manners etc, as Lochlan has just burped (and said 'pardon me'), and I was discussing another time when Lochlan had let out a massive, long, loud fart at the table. I couldn't find a way to describe it properly, so Richard pipes up:
"Like a career alcoholic with an onion fetish."
Richards daughter Kelly is here at the moment, just come down for a quick visit til tomorrow. She's sitting on the floor, playing with the two boys, and they've got my measuring cups and spoons.
Richard looks over. "Ahhh. Two boys, one cup huh?"
Earlier in the day, Lochlan was playing down the hallway, doing something that he shouldn't, and I hear Richard call him and say "Come here maraca head."
Huh?
So I ask him what he means by that.
"If he keeps doing that, I'll shake him til he rattles."
O_o
(No, he wouldn't, just for all those about to go running for the phone to call CYFS)
Then at dinner, we're sitting there talking about manners etc, as Lochlan has just burped (and said 'pardon me'), and I was discussing another time when Lochlan had let out a massive, long, loud fart at the table. I couldn't find a way to describe it properly, so Richard pipes up:
"Like a career alcoholic with an onion fetish."
I'll never be able to watch Dora with a straight face again.
Well, Dora was on TV this morning.
Lochlan loves watching Dora, and Diego, and actually points to the screen, and shouts out answers etc.
On comes the backpack song. For all those who haven't seen it, here it is:
Lochlan loves watching Dora, and Diego, and actually points to the screen, and shouts out answers etc.
On comes the backpack song. For all those who haven't seen it, here it is:
I notice Richard is singing along. Mindless singing I think.
Until I hear the words that he's singing.
"Back sack, and crack"
Until I hear the words that he's singing.
"Back sack, and crack"
Wednesday 30 November 2011
Cartoons getting older.
Well, we turned on the TV this morning to KidZone on channel 7. After that finished at 8 am (thanks a lot TVNZ), we switched over to FOUR, because that usually has cartoons on.
Now, before I go too far, I wish to apologise in advance to anyone who may get offended by this post, it is not meant to offend, but I know that its going to upset at least one person. And to you, whoever you are, I'm sorry.
So once FOUR gets its crap organised, a cartoon pops up. Nothing unusual, I hear you say. No, you're quite right, it's not. But I noticed that the characters name are familiar.
Oh hey, its the Rugrats kids. But they're all grown up. Well, they're now teenagers.
While I realise that many of you will be like 'well duh, that has been out since like 2003', we don't have Sky. Hence no Nickelodeon channel. So we've never seen it before.
So I'm watching the opening credits, and whether it was inattention, or I had turned around to say something to one of the (3) kids I seem to have in my house, I didn't see the credits for Tommys younger brother, Dil Pickles.
(Yes, you just read that correctly, and no, its not the aim of this post.)
I turned to Richard, and said to him that I wondered what happened to Tommys little brother.
"Cot death?" Was the reply I received.
Now, before I go too far, I wish to apologise in advance to anyone who may get offended by this post, it is not meant to offend, but I know that its going to upset at least one person. And to you, whoever you are, I'm sorry.
So once FOUR gets its crap organised, a cartoon pops up. Nothing unusual, I hear you say. No, you're quite right, it's not. But I noticed that the characters name are familiar.
Oh hey, its the Rugrats kids. But they're all grown up. Well, they're now teenagers.
While I realise that many of you will be like 'well duh, that has been out since like 2003', we don't have Sky. Hence no Nickelodeon channel. So we've never seen it before.
So I'm watching the opening credits, and whether it was inattention, or I had turned around to say something to one of the (3) kids I seem to have in my house, I didn't see the credits for Tommys younger brother, Dil Pickles.
(Yes, you just read that correctly, and no, its not the aim of this post.)
I turned to Richard, and said to him that I wondered what happened to Tommys little brother.
"Cot death?" Was the reply I received.
Tuesday 29 November 2011
So we're at BK tonight...
I've got a part time job working with the election. I'm not doing anything exciting, but hey, the pay is good.
This is the first time that I've actually worked in over 3 years. I haven't worked since I went on maternity leave with Lochlan. So I'm feeling great, earning a bit of 'pin money', getting out and about, having actual adult conversations.
But, I'm also buggered. And I can't be bothered cooking the moment I walk in the door either. Richard has been fantastic, looking after both the boys so that I am able to do this, and he even got dinner cooked for me last night too. (Too bad I was too sick to eat it, but that's a story for another day). So I suggested that we go and get something completely unhealthy cooked for us, as a treat. Of course, it took Richard all of 3 milliseconds to decide, which was a resounding 'why not?'.
So after we picked up Lochlan from preschool, I asked Lochlan what he wanted for dinner. He said what nearly every child I know of would reply with when presented with that option.
"A burger, and chips, and sauce AND A NEW TOY!"
So after explaining to Richard that I had not instructed Lochlan in anyway to say that (I hadn't!), we had the usual argument. I like McDonalds, Richard doesn't. Wendys in Tauranga is nothing like the ones in Auckland, so that's out. KFC is waaaaaaaay too greasy for me (no gallbladder - greasy food and I are no longer friends), there is no Burger Wisconsin in Tauranga (sob!), so that left us with one option.
Burger King.
Now, I don't mind BK, but sometimes I find it... gross. I've got to be in the mood for it. I wasn't tonight, but in the interests of familial harmony, I just went along with it.
So we're there, eating our burgers. Lochlan, being a typical 3 year old, picks up his drink. Which he then drops.
Of course, I was too slow to catch it, due to having chips in one hand, and a burger in the other at the time. It bounced off his chair the right way up, to land on its side, on the ground.
Coke Zero everywhere.
So Richard gets up, grabs one of the 'bots', and asks for the manager. The manager comes over, sees the mess on the floor, and you see her eyes bug out and her face drop. You all know the look, the 'which god did I annoy to get this punishment today?' look.
Richard being Richard says:
"Hi, as you can see, my child has happened to your store."
The look on the managers face was priceless.
This is the first time that I've actually worked in over 3 years. I haven't worked since I went on maternity leave with Lochlan. So I'm feeling great, earning a bit of 'pin money', getting out and about, having actual adult conversations.
But, I'm also buggered. And I can't be bothered cooking the moment I walk in the door either. Richard has been fantastic, looking after both the boys so that I am able to do this, and he even got dinner cooked for me last night too. (Too bad I was too sick to eat it, but that's a story for another day). So I suggested that we go and get something completely unhealthy cooked for us, as a treat. Of course, it took Richard all of 3 milliseconds to decide, which was a resounding 'why not?'.
So after we picked up Lochlan from preschool, I asked Lochlan what he wanted for dinner. He said what nearly every child I know of would reply with when presented with that option.
"A burger, and chips, and sauce AND A NEW TOY!"
So after explaining to Richard that I had not instructed Lochlan in anyway to say that (I hadn't!), we had the usual argument. I like McDonalds, Richard doesn't. Wendys in Tauranga is nothing like the ones in Auckland, so that's out. KFC is waaaaaaaay too greasy for me (no gallbladder - greasy food and I are no longer friends), there is no Burger Wisconsin in Tauranga (sob!), so that left us with one option.
Burger King.
Now, I don't mind BK, but sometimes I find it... gross. I've got to be in the mood for it. I wasn't tonight, but in the interests of familial harmony, I just went along with it.
So we're there, eating our burgers. Lochlan, being a typical 3 year old, picks up his drink. Which he then drops.
Of course, I was too slow to catch it, due to having chips in one hand, and a burger in the other at the time. It bounced off his chair the right way up, to land on its side, on the ground.
Coke Zero everywhere.
So Richard gets up, grabs one of the 'bots', and asks for the manager. The manager comes over, sees the mess on the floor, and you see her eyes bug out and her face drop. You all know the look, the 'which god did I annoy to get this punishment today?' look.
Richard being Richard says:
"Hi, as you can see, my child has happened to your store."
The look on the managers face was priceless.
So... what is this blog about?
Well, this blog is actually the idea of several of my friends. My husband has Aspergers Syndrome, which is part of the Autism Spectrum. Because of the way that he is, he quite often comes out with real gems of wit, and plenty of people have said that I should collect them, so others can enjoy it.
Well, some will enjoy it. Others may feel the same as me, as in "Did I just hear (or read, as the case may be) that correctly?"
Some comments may seem inflammatory. Chances are, he probably said them to see if he could get a rise out of someone. Please don't get offended by them, they are not aimed at you, specifically. If they were, you would have already had the (mis)fortune of hearing them.
I aim to get one comment a day on here, sometimes more, sometimes I may not get on for a few days.
You'll just have to keep checking back.
Enjoy!
Well, some will enjoy it. Others may feel the same as me, as in "Did I just hear (or read, as the case may be) that correctly?"
Some comments may seem inflammatory. Chances are, he probably said them to see if he could get a rise out of someone. Please don't get offended by them, they are not aimed at you, specifically. If they were, you would have already had the (mis)fortune of hearing them.
I aim to get one comment a day on here, sometimes more, sometimes I may not get on for a few days.
You'll just have to keep checking back.
Enjoy!
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